Broz 3 The Tyrant of Skadar sample pages
ARISE LIKE GRASS SPRINGING FROM THE SOIL! BECAUSE THE BLOODSAP OF OUR SLAIN COMRADES BOILS UP FROM THE VERY GROUND!
Continuing with Broz, here’s the final volume, which I don’t believe was ever published. What a shame – I think you’ll agree as you look at this selection of pages by Adrian Smith.
PAGE FIVE
1. Roza looks coldly at Broz who grudgingly agrees
BROZ: WE.
ROZA: THANK YOU. NOW… I SEEM TO REMEMBER SOMETHING ABOUT AN APOLOGY… ?
BROZ: VERY WELL. I'LL KISS YOUR FEET.
2.Broz kneels down and starts to remove her boot.She ooks down at him triumphantly.
ROZA: YES. THAT WOULD ONLY SEEM TO BE APPROPRIATE AFTER YOUR DISGRACEFUL BEHAVIOUR.
3.A lascivious leer on his face, Broz slowly and seductively finishes taking off her boot. She looks uneasy about this. This wasn't part of the plan!
4. He starts to give Roza a Fergie-style toe job! Roza looking a bit shaken by this!! It's really doing things for her.
5. Roza looks flustered as he continues. Nectar approaches.
ROZA: NO! STOP! YOU'RE NOT MEANT TO ENJOY IT!
6. Nectar finds them in this compromising position!!
NECTAR: AM I INTERRUPTING ANYTHING?
7. Nectar speaks coldly to Broz who becomes a Resistance leader again.
NECTAR: CAN I JUST INFORM YOU THERE ARE MORE IMPERIAL REINFORCEMENTS AHEAD? OUR FORCES WOULD LIKE TO HEAR FROM THEIR LEADER!
BROZ: I'LL SPEAK TO THEM .
7. Nectar looks coldly across at a flustered Roza as Broz goes off… Roza putting on her boot again.
8. Broz addresses his massed forces who are below him.
BROZ: MY FELLOW INCORRUPTIBLES! PEOPLE OF THE FIVE KINGDOMS… ELDERS! FLORANS! FUNGOIDS! ELEMENTALS! AND HUMANS!
PAGES SIX AND SEVEN SPREAD
A BANK OF PICS GOING ACROSS THE TWO PAGES
ABOVE a DOUBLE PAGE SPREAD OF BATTLE
We focus on different groups of warriors as they hear Broz's stirring words.
1. First the Elders in their magnificent armour. And one or more of the three giants, including Goran.
VOICE: FOR MANY LONG YEARS THE SWORD AND PISTOL HAVE BEEN YOUR FATHER AND MOTHER.
2. Then we focus on Florans. These can be male versions of Nectar and Rosa and a variety of tree warriors.
VOICE: YOUR BROTHER AND SISTER - TWO SMALL DAGGERS.
(2): YOUR LOVE A SHARPENED AXE.
DREEVO (whispering to another); I DO WISH HE WOULDN'T TALK ABOUT AXES! IT'S VERY UPSETTING TO US TREE CREATURES!
3 . Amanita. And other Fungoid warriors.
VOICE: A HARD ROCK YOUR PILLOW.
(2): YOUR COAT YOUR HOME.
4. Elementals. Like Glodars, Salamanders and Sprites. (Creatures of Fire, Earth , Air and Water)
VOICE: BUT WE MUST FIGHT ON…! WE MUST BREAK THROUGH THE FORCES OF KORRUPTION!
5. Humans massed for battle.
VOICE: ARISE LIKE GRASS SPRINGING FROM THE SOIL! BECAUSE THE BLOODSAP OF OUR SLAIN COMRADES BOILS UP FROM THE VERY GROUND!
6. Just Broz. He grins at us.
BROZ: YES, I'M AFRAID THERE WILL BE A BRAWL NOW…
FROM HIS UNSEEN AUDIENCE: HA, HA, HA!
BROZ: SO WOE TO HE WHO GETS IN THE WAY OF BROZ!
7. DOUBLE PAGE SPREAD.
Battle begins!
Picture stretching across both pages - to really get a Ridley Scott City of God epic style battle… which I know you're keen on.
Looking back at Book One, I was impressed by the epic scale of the battles in such a small area and think it would be great to see something similar but on a really big and wide scale.
They can be in a valley and up against any range of Imperial Troops you like as these are reinforcements Borba has been keeping back.
Good to get a real Warhammer, table top fighting feel… with row upon row of Imperial Troops. Think of the figurine potential in this story!
The rebels have to fight their way through the Imperial Forces to freedom
Broz on foot leaves our various heroes. He has put the soul lock and ammo pouch in his belt. Roza and Nectar are also joining in.
Here… the two sides are just making battle contact!
BROZ: DEATH TO THE EMPIRE! FREEDOM TO THE FIVE KINGDOMS!
REBELS: BROZ! BROZ! BROZ!
GORAN: HELLO, MISERABLE! POOR YOU! POOR YOU!
GIANT: REMEMBER KUKU MENI! REMEMBER KUKU MENI!
ELDERS (Elfs): KI! KI! KI! KI!
PAGE EIGHT AND NINE A SECOND BATTLE DOUBLE SPREAD
1. DOUBLE PAGE SPREAD.
Now the two sides are mingled together in THE SHOCK OF BATTLE! A mangled fighting maelstrom.
General battle scene of mayhem with Broz in the thick of it. Roza back to her old despondant self as Amanita fights by her side
REBELS: DEATH TO THE EMPIRE!
IMPERIAL TROOPS: DEATH TO THE REBELS!
BORBA: THE HOUR OF THE COMPLETE DESTRUCTION OF THE BROZ ARMY HAS COME!
ROZA: AND THEY TOLD ME I WAS BORN UNDER A LUCKY STAR. YEAH! YEAH!
AMANITA: STOP COMPLAINING, ROZA! BE POSITIVE!
ROZA: WHEN WE'RE ALL GOING TO DROP DEAD, WHY BE POSITIVE?
A BANK OF PICS GOING ACROSS THE TWO PAGES
BELOW THE DOUBLE PAGE SPREAD OF BATTLE
2.The Troubadour plays as weapons whiz past him. In background is an impression of battle.
TROUBADOUR:
THEN ROSE THE MEN OF BROZ, A HARDY WAR TO WAGE.
AND FORWARD RUSHED THE ENEMY IN A STRONG AND SAVAGE RAGE!
3.The Troubadour continues to play as in background a Giant clubs a Skazak. Missiles continue to avoid Troubadour
TROUBADOUR:
AGAINST BROZ'S FORCES IN WRATHFUL MIGHT THEY DASHED,
BUT ON THE SKAZAKS' HEADS, THE GIANTS' CLUBS WERE CRASHED!
4.More mayhem continues as the Troubadour sings on. The Raven flies down towards him. Weapons continue to avoid Troubadour
TROUBADOUR:
WILD WAR WHERE NONE SHOWED PITY BETWEEN THE HOSTS WAS SET,
FITLY FRAMED FOR BATTLE WERE THE WARRIORS WHEN THEY MET.
5. The Raven lands on the Troubadour's guitar as mayhem continues Daggers and axes continue to avoid Troubadour
AND WELL THEY STRUCK , EACH HERO WITH MIGHTY BLOWS.
TO CRUSH AND SLAY… ER… ER…
RAVEN: … DESTRUCTION WAS HEAPED UPON THEIR FOES!
6. Troubadour glares at the smart-ass Raven. Missiles and arrows continue to avoid Troubadour
TROUBADOUR: HEY! WHO'S TELLING THIS SAGA?!
7.. MEANWHILE… Through the mayhem of battle Borba confronts Broz
BORBA: SO… THE GREAT BROZ - FREEDOM FIGHTER! LEADER OF THE INCORRUPTIBLES!
8. Broz scowls
BROZ: I'LL TAKE THAT AS AN INSULT.
9 They fight - sword against sword
BORBA: BROZ…? IS THAT YOUR ONLY NAME?
10. Broz scowls as he fights on
BROZ: IT WILL DO FOR THE MOMENT.
PAGE TWELVE LEFT HAND
1. We close in on the Bishop's Mitre building. With just enough of its surroundings to ensure a cinematic transition.
VOICE : NO ONE IS INDISPENSABLE. WE CAN ALL BE REPLACED, CARDINAL.
VOICE: NOT YOU, MY LORD. YOUR DEEDS ARE AN EXAMPLE TO US ALL.
2. We close in further on the Bishop's Mitre building with its evil eye slits. Tiny figures visible in the slits may give us some idea of its stupendous scale.
VOICE: I SIMPLY DID MY DUTY… 365 MELEES TO EARN MY THRONE IN THE UNDERWORLD.
(2): I LIKE IT THERE.
(Note to Jacques… in English… Fight is too small. Battle is too big. Melee is just about right to total 365 combats before a Knight dies)
3. We close in further still.
VOICES FROM WITHIN: I WOULD NOT DISTURB YOUR RETIREMENT WERE IT NOT FOR A GRAVE EMERGENCY.
(2): THERE'S ALWAYS SOME EMERGENCY. I'M TIRED OF EMERGENCIES. I'M TIRED OF THIS WORLD.
4. We have now entered the building and we look down on an evil scene.
The setting reminds us of the Inquisition and for inspiration it's worth looking at paintings by Goya which should be on the web.
The Cardinal looks on. He is our regular character from Books One and Two. His eye is imperial mode throughout. He can have some assistants wearing inquisitor's hoods. Some torture gear nearby. A touch of Frankenstein's laboratory about all this.
A dead Knight has been reanimated. He wears vast armour, described fully for the next page. To ensure his reanimation, he has been chained in an X position and then the Cardinal invoked the knight's totem beast to reanimate him. This creature, a black lion rampant, as represented on his shield, is vaguely visible in the shadows.
CARDINAL: BUT THINK OF THE BENEFITS OF BEING ALIVE. SO MANY BEAUTIFUL FLORANS ARE AT YOUR DISPOSAL.
ABRAXAS: I'VE ALWAYS DEVOTED MY ENERGIES TO WAR.
CARDINAL: THEN WHAT ABOUT ALL THE COMFORTS AND LUXURIES YOU CAN ENJOY?
5. We close in on the warrior: KNIGHT COMMANDER ABRAXAS, DESPOT OF SKADAR - who should become Broz's deadly enemy.
Several years ago, he was hit in the face with a weapon; a sword or an axe - and this was what killed him originally. The wound broke the orbit of his eye above the cheekbone, smashes through his upper jaw, dislocated & broke his lower jaw and exited through the chin The wound had been dressed and cleaned after he died . But it is still the face of a corpse.
He looks evilly at us with his grim scarred face.
He's in his mid to late Thirties which is old for an Imperial Knight. If he was being played in a movie, it might be by a younger Clint Eastwood, although I think he could be BALD .
He may later be vulnerable to seduction by Nectar.
ABRAXAS: I'M A KNIGHT. I'M NOT INTERESTED IN "SNIVEL GEAR".
6.Abraxas disdainfully rips himself free from his chains as the Cardinal continues.
CARDINAL: SO WHAT SHALL I SAY TO YOUR SOLDIERS? THEY WAIT FOR THE LEGENDARY DESPOT OF SKADAR TO ADDRESS THEM BEFORE THEY BOARD THEIR SANCTUARIES.
ABRAXAS: WHATEVER YOU LIKE. I DON'T CARE.
7. . The Cardinal slyly adds a further comment as Abraxas collects his weapons. He has his back to us, but we see him stiffen as he hears the hated name…. BROZ!
CARDINAL: THEY ARE KEEN TO BEGIN THEIR CAMPAIGN AGAINST THE ARCH-REBEL BROZ.
8. Headshot of Abraxas. He looks surprised and vicious. Again, think of Eastwood.
ABRAXAS: BROZ?!
PAGE THIRTEEN RIGHT HAND
1. FULL PAGE
FULL PAGE POSTER IMAGE OF ABRAXAS in his armour that should really take our breath away.
A powerful Darth Vader style visual.
First , let me describe his armour.
Like all Imperial Knights, it should be massive , totally dwarfing his body, so his head is relatively small within it. The shoulder sections need to be enormous. This is full plate armour of fantasy proportions. Not natural proportions.
There are dents and slashes on it from heavy use. There are also anti-personnel spikes on the armour.
Emblazoned on his chest is THE BLACK GRAIL which will have subsequent significance. It has the black mushroom rising out of it; like a host from a chalice.
He has the winged sanctuary on his shoulder piece.
Also on his armour are the following two awards:
A dripping red dagger with oak leaves half surround. This is a highly coveted award from the Emperor himself. The equivalent of an iron cross.
And a gold sword, indicating he has been the victor in 365 melees. This is surrounded by a circle , meaning his circle is complete.
Now… His weapons:
He is clutching a MONSTRANCE in one hand. This is a violent version of a religious artifact of the same name. It is a little smaller than a sword, a beautiful black and gold artifact shaped like a black sun with gold rays projecting from it. It thus has a vicious role as a spiky weapon ; like hitting someone with a club of nails. But it also has a magical use which I will develop later.
In his other hand he clutches a massive sword with a serrated edge on both sides.
On the ground near him is his helmet . This is like the Skadar "towers" but also has elaborate chivalric horns.
The Human Knights usually have horns on their helmets. The styles vary. See later.
They come from four clans and this is indicated by a clan symbol between the horns or rising above it. The horn style is also an indication of which clan they come from.
The clan symbol of Abraxas here is A SKULL. Flames are coming out the eye sockets.
Bear in mind that both his helmet and armour will later need to be suitable for a metamorphosis turning him into a metal version of his totem beast. So he will literally transform into a black lion suit of armour. With vicious claws and snarling helmet.
However, the horns on the helmet can easily disappear as the change begins.
Also propped to one side is his shield. This is the same as the shield at the entrance to Skadar.
As previously noted, on the shield is a black lion rampant. There are several versions of this and the one we want has really big "shaggy" feet and hands. With the claws individually defined. I have several versions in my book on heraldry, but I'm guessing you can get them off the web okay.
This shield has seen a lot of use. So some of the colours can be fading in places. There are slash and explosion marks and an indentation on it. Abraxas bashes the shield with his sword to invoke his power beast. The shield can have spikes on it.
And lurking behind him in the shadows is a real life version of the beast on the shield! It's more than just a shadow , a phantom or a symbol. This thing is real, demonic, powerful and 3D, even if it is lurking in the shadows. It has blue gleaming eyes and blue tongue and blue claws.
Its pose and heraldic colours affirms that this is NOT any lion in the sense we would normally think of one. It is a thing from Hell. To my knowledge, no one has used fantasy creatures from heraldry before, so it should look quite startling. NOT least because it walks upright like a humanoid.
(Other Totem Lions used by other knights may later appear as Red or even White Lions Rampant)
Torch/es illuminate the sinister dungeon background.
ABRAXAS looks EVILLY at us. He has changed his mind. It's good to be alive! He has unfinished business with Mr. Broz.
ABRAXAS: IT'S GOOD TO BE BACK.
PAGE THIRTY SIX LEFT HAND
1. Ekko and Rekko look down at Kippar
EKKO: HE'S STILL NOT SAYING ANYTHING, REKKO.
REKKO: I THINK IT'S BECAUSE HE'S DEAD, EKKO.
2. Kippar's older brother, Wardo, a dwarf, watches from a hiding place as Rekko points down at his dead victim. Ekko also points down at Kippar. They are about to leave.
REKKO: WELL, LET ME GIVE YOU SOME ADVICE. IN FUTURE, YOU SHOULD STAY AWAY FROM PEOPLE LIKE US.
3. The twins have left. Wardo starts to go up the stairs. His dwarf wife Tewda, a fat, homely cook type, remonstrates with him.
WARDO: THEY CAN'T GET AWAY WITH THIS. I'M GOING TO TALK TO THE INQUISITORS! TO GRAND MASTER JAHBULON HIMSELF!
TEWDA; ARE YOU CRAZY, WARDO? IT'S FORBIDDEN TO ENTER WHEN THE LEAGUE OF THE HOLY COURT ARE IN SESSION , UNDER PAIN OF DEATH!
4. They argue.
NOTE TO JACQUES: The Inquisitors are based on the medieval German Judges who were known as the Vehm. Their members were also called the Wissende, the "knowing ones," or "the initiated."
In English, there is an obvious pun on Wissende - "The Wizened", as in The Wizards and also "wizened with age".
This may not be feasible in French
WARDO: THEY'RE MEANT TO PROTECT US.
TEWDA: THEY ARE THE WIZENED - "THE KNOWING ONES" ! THEY WORSHIP THE SCHYLME! THEY HAVE TURNED THIS REGION INTO RED LAND.
5. Wardo angry as he looks up the stairs. Tewda also fearfully looks up the stairs
WARDO; IF THEY CANNOT AVENGE KIPPAR'S DEATH, WE MIGHT AS WELL JOIN THE REBELS.
TEWDA: SSSSHHH! SSSHHH!
6. Wardo goes up the stairs, despite her pleas
TEWDA; WARDO! NO! JAHBULON WILL KILL YOU! OR EVEN MAKE YOU "KISS THE VIRGIN"!
7. Tewda looks fearfully after him
TEWDA: WARDO! COME BACK!
8.Wardo approaches a door on the floor above. (His family own the tavern)
VOICE FROM WITHIN
(smaller lettering to suggest it's a distant voice)
I , THE LORD OF JUSTICE, SWEAR PERPETUAL DEVOTION TO THE SECRET TRIBUNAL; TO DEFEND IT AGAINST MYSELF, OR ANYTHING ILLUMINED BY THE SUN OR BATHED IN THE RAIN, OR TO BE FOUND BETWEEN HEAVEN AND EARTH;
9. Wardo opens the door and looks inside.
VOICE FROM WITHIN :
TO DENOUNCE, IF NECESSARY,MY PARENTS AND RELATIONS, CALLING DOWN UPON MYSELF , IN CASE OF PERJURY, THE MALEDICTION OF ALL, AND THE PUNISHMENT OF BEING HANGED SEVEN FEET HIGHER THAN ALL OTHERS.
PAGE THIRTY SEVEN RIGHT HAND
1. ALMOST FULL PAGE PIC, occupying 90 per cent of the page.
The Inquisitors are holding a Black Mass . They are as follows
JAHBULON - The Grand Master. He wears a sinister mask. Think of the Venetian masks worn by the Satanic leaders in Eyes Wide Shut. Something sinister along these lines. He is our Torquemada, so should NOT wear a coned helmet for this reason. He has a staff of office.
He is sitting on a throne of office.
BROTHER JACK A Himler-like Mad Monk. Although not wearing glasses, his eyes have that Himmler-like feeling about them. He moves and fights like a Ninja. Rarely speaks. NEVER shows emotions. He fights using surprise. Always strips his victims first. So he knows where to cut them.
BOGOMIL He has a Red biretta with horns projecting out the side. He wears priestly robes that have something in common with the Cardinal. Although they are different facets of the same religion. Worth looking at designs of biretta (three cornered religious hats) which have interesting shapes to them. He has a diseased "mutant" face; similar to characters like Slaanesh Marine in your book.
Later, white slime will come from his mouth.
SHIBBOLETH Beautiful witch-warrior enchantress. Later yellow slime will come from her mouth.
YALDABOTH He wears a coned "Inquisitor" helmet. With the feeling of Terminators in Nemesis and Eldar warriors and Nerevin Guardians in your book.
He is swinging a thurifer with smoke emanating from it. The thurifer can look suitably grotesque - a demon with smoke coming out of its mouth.
Later green slime will come from his mouth or mouth grille.
They are a "Travelling Inquisition" - like in "The Name of the Rose"
The INQUISITION GUARDS are not present here, but later they should have similar styles of helmets to Yaldaboth.
These five characters are conducting a black mass with a dwarf as a victim, laid on the altar. (It can be male )
Bogomil is holding a toad in the air above his chalice. He has cut the toad's throat and its blood is pouring into the chalice
All the Inquisition character have a sign on them as below: This is the symbol of the medieval German Vehm on which the Inquisition is based. (They also had links with the Templars)
This sign can be on a banner above the altar; with a statue of a bestial Cthulhu-like Schlyme God below the banner
BOGOMIL:
IN THE EVENT OF MY TURNING TRAITOR OR REVEALING THE SECRETS CONFIDED TO ME, MY EYES WILL BE BANDAGED, MY HANDS TIED BEHIND MY BACK AND MY TONGUE TORN OUT THROUGH THE BACK OF MY NECK AFTER WHICH I WILL HANGED BY THE FEET TILL DEAD, WITH THE SOLEMN IMPRECATION THAT MY BODY BE GIVEN AS PREY TO THE BIRDS OF THE AIR.
Four close-up head shots on a second bank of pics
2. Shibboleth looks towards dwarf off pic. Yellow slime pours from her beautiful mouth.
3. Yaldaboth looks towards dwarf off pic. Green slime pours from his mouth.
4. The Canon turns and looks towards dwarf off pic. White slime pours from his mouth.
5. The dwarf Wardo looks scared!
This is breath taking work, Pat! Crikey!
Thank you so much for bringing it out into the open!