Goodnight, John-boy: Chapter 42
‘We could make so much money, we might even have to go into tax exile.’ ‘Life is tough, Greg. I think this calls for a liquorice pipe.’ Dave took one from his confectionery box. ‘You want one?’
Welcome to Book Two of my dark comedy thriller series, Read Em And Weep.
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If you’re new to the Read Em And Weep series, start with Book One: Serial Killer.
‘I did it,’ said Greg, as Dave entered the office of The Spanker and Space Warp.
‘You saw Leni?’
‘Yep. I handed in my notice. I’m going freelance.’
‘That’s fantastic news,’ said Dave.
He was enjoying the trivia of normal life after his recent trauma, and also the thought of finally getting rid of Greg so he could produce Space Warp with Joy.
‘That’s a brave decision and the right one. I’m so pleased for you, mate.’
‘I knew you’d be pleased,’ said Greg.
‘Yes, I really wish I had your courage.’
‘But you have.’
‘Oh, I wish, Greg.’
‘I’ve handed in your notice as well.’
‘What! What are you talking about?’
‘I knew it’s what you wanted, so I told her you wanted to go freelance, too.’
‘No. No. No way. You had no right.’
‘Yes. Yes. Yes. And Leni’s accepted it.’
‘But I’m a lifer,’ said Dave. ‘There would need to be a halfway house to help me adjust to life on the outside. It’s out of the question.’
‘Hear me out,’ grinned Greg. ‘The producer of the Dan Darwin movie has had several meetings with Leni, okay?’
‘A Dan Darwin movie? That’s great news. What’s it about?’
‘It’s going to be set on Mars. And it’ll have the Beagle, the Vroors and the Apokrita in it!’
‘Brilliant. Why doesn’t anyone tell me about these things?’
‘Because we’re just fucking cogs in the machine, mate. But now … now we get the chance to operate the machine. The producer wants to control the direction of Dan Darwin, so he wants to take over Space Warp and hire us to produce it as outside contractors.’
‘Outside contractors?’
‘We get a percentage of the profits. Fifteen percent. What do you say?’
‘Our own comic? That we will own a slice of? Fuck the halfway house.’
‘That’s what I thought you’d say. You realise if it’s a hit, we’ll make a fortune? Think of how much money Aaagh! made for Fleetpit.’
‘No shit, man. Dig that fucking swimming pool.’
‘We could make so much money, we might even have to go into tax exile.’
‘Life is tough, Greg. I think this calls for a liquorice pipe.’ Dave took one from his confectionery box. ‘You want one?’
‘No, I’m not … oh, go on then. Just this once.’
They chewed on their pipes and considered their glittering futures.
‘How did you persuade Leni to let us be outside contractors? Oh, Greg, you didn’t go under the desk again? You’re not back on the green snot, are you?’
‘She said it would help her prepare for purification in the coming End Times.’
‘How?’
‘She gets a slice of the action, too.’
‘Ah. A financial as well as a spiritual reason for her decision. That makes sense now.’
‘She’ll probably use the money to start a science fiction religion.’
‘I think that’s already been done, Greg.’
Then he had an afterthought. ‘What about Joy? Where does this leave her?’
‘The deal’s just for us. Leni loathes her.’
‘I thought she loved everyone.’
‘She’s made an exception with Joy.’
‘She’ll be gutted.’
‘Joy’s opposed to Dan Darwin. Leni can’t have that.’
‘We could talk Joy round.’
‘She’s not forgiven her for pulling that Time Machine stunt.’
‘But working on a science fiction comic is her dream.’
‘Leni sees her as a rival.’
‘It’s everything she’s ever wanted.
‘She’s out.’
Dave had been hoping to get Joy back, and Space Warp had looked like the perfect way. But, on the other hand, there was a huge amount of money to be made here. Megabucks. Based on sales of Aaagh!, Space Warp could sell 200, copies a week. He was already doing the maths. He could retire at forty. Joy, as a businesswoman, would understand his decision.
‘I feel bad about it, Greg.’
‘Me, too.’
‘Maybe you can think of a good shitty way to justify this to ourselves?’
‘It’s my specialty.’
‘Okay. Go for it.’
‘Well, she’s not exactly “all for one” when it comes to buying her round. “I think I forgot my purse”.’ Greg said with a Scottish accent. ‘That’s if she hasn’t already rushed off to the loo. How’s that?’
‘That is a really pathetic justification, Greg.’
‘There’s more pathetic justifications where that came from.’
‘That’ll do. Thanks. I feel so much better now.’
Greg stretched out a hand. ‘Put it there, buddy.’
They shook on the deal. ‘The Two Musketeers,’ said Greg.
‘All for one and one for two.’
‘But maybe we won’t say anything to Joy for a little while?’ suggested Greg nervously.
‘Yes, she might overreact.’
Greg winced at the thought of Joy’s likely response.
‘It means we now have the rights to someone else’s rights,’ Dave pondered.
‘That’s the way of the world, Dave.’
‘That’s life.’
‘It’s tough on the Dan Darwin creator. According to Leni, he’ll get zilch for our version,’ sighed Greg, ‘But what can we do?’
They continued silently chewing on their liquorice pipes. Finally Dave spoke.
‘So is he getting any money for the movie?’
‘He sold all rights, remember?’ said Greg. ‘Just some token fee as consultant.’
‘Poor sod.’
‘The usual film producer bullshit so they can say their hands are clean.’
‘Still, at least our own hands are clean, Greg.’
He corrected himself. ‘Well, fairly clean.’
He corrected himself again. ‘Okay, just a bit grubby.’
There was a pause.
‘Okay, we’ve sold out.’
Goodnight, John-boy is the second book in the Read Em And Weep series and you can buy it digitally or as a paperback.