Pageturners: ROBOTEL - the first three stories
The Robotel is in trouble. Their last block booking was a convention of the ‘Anorak Truckers from Hell’: fans who drive the antique rigs from the old days when supplies were delivered by road.
Welcome to Pageturners, a book I’m writing in which I share what I’ve learnt – and am still learning – about comic writing, film writing, novel writing and how new writers can sell their stories. I’ll publish a chapter or a section per week, available for free here on Iconoblast. And I welcome your feedback or questions, so do leave a comment below!
Missed the Pageturners intro? Read it here.
Last week, I introduced you to ROBOTEL, a story that Kevin O’Neill and I developed as a pitch for an animation series (although it would work equally well as a comic book). If you haven’t already looked at the post, I urge you to check it out, as Kevin’s characters are really a joy to look at – and this is the first time they’ve been made available.
This week, I’m sharing the first three episodes of ROBOTEL that we wrote as part of our pitch.
EPISODE ONE
Genesis
We see a spectacular and mysterious pyramid-style science fiction building gleaming in the desert sky. Full-orchestral triumphant music gives us a sense of a giant epic in the making.
We pull back as the music swells with majesty and the promise of great things to come.
And see:
That the pyramid is actually the prow of a vast building which - at this angle – looks inadvertently like a SINKING SHIP.
The effect is made ever more pronounced by bubbles around it which are service and observation domes.
We hold onto the bizarre sight of a sinking ship in the desert. And then – as the triumphant music goes ‘off key’ – we close in a large board:
HAPPY MATTRESS ROBOTEL
And a humiliating sign flashing below it:
Vacancies
The music is now discordant and fades away, shame-faced.
Inside the Robotel, JONES is anxiously awaiting the arrival of MR ROSE, the human owner of the Happy Mattress chain, checking with PIG IRON that everything is in order. PIG IRON scowls that of course it is. JONES reminds PIG IRON gently that the virtual reality version of the Gideon Bible in every guest’s room had gone wrong – resulting in two guests fleeing in terror when they were awoken in the middle of the night by the Horsemen of the Apocalypse.
JONES also confirms the Robotel is in trouble. Their last block booking was a convention of the ‘Anorak Truckers from Hell’: fans who drive the antique rigs from the old days when supplies were delivered by road. Whereas today food is pumped directly into people’s apartments. The motorways are used less and less which is why they’ve had to get a tough new guard – FORGE – to protect the Robotel from marauding biker gangs.
PIG IRON keeps interjecting Mmm… Mmm… Mmm….Mmm… as JONES speaks and ends off: ‘Sorry my 30 second attention span is up.’ And then ignores him.
JONES continues explaining, but we just hear a dialling tone from PIG IRON: Brrrrr…
Then a happy female voice from the scowling PIG IRON: ‘Sorry. Yout audio-input is not being accepted. Please try later. Or you can visit my website: www.fu.com.’
JONES then turns to MAURICE, explaining that MR ROSE will be here any minute.
MAURICE whizzes around, very obsequious and obedient.
A HUMAN FAMILY arrive. MUM and DAD and obnoxious KID wearing a VR receiver. FORGE approaches and speaks in a deep, menacing voice: ‘Are you feeling … lucky? You want to risk going for breakfast?’
We learn that the FAMILY is on its way back from a Real Holiday. They went to the Grand Canyon. The KID says it was boring. And the Grand Canyon sucked. ‘They should have filled it in.’ If his friends knew that he went on a real holiday, rather than a virtual one, he’d die of shame. Real holidays suck.
The KID complains about the real food supplied by the Chef. It doesn’t taste as good as virtual food which is soya protein, eaten with electronic sensors stimulating the taste buds. So it looks and tastes like whatever you like best. In the KID’S case – junk food. The KID gives the obedient MAURICE a hard time.
MR ROSE teleports in and JONES is grovelling obsequiousness, nervously hoping MR ROSE will enjoy his stay.
ROSE explains that he’s here to commit suicide.
The Happy Mattress chain is finished. A smiling JONES says it can’t be too bad. ROSE says he’s bankrupt. JONES says at least he can sell the land. ROSE says REAL estate is worthless. VIRTUAL estate has replaced it.
A smiling JONES finally agrees that maybe suicide is his best bet.
ROSE breaks down as PIG IRON appears with OLD RAGE. ROSE tearfully explains how he built up the Happy Mattress Chain from nothing. This was the first Robotel. The scowling OLD RAGE remembers. ROSE wants one last look around before he dies. This is where it began, this is where it will end. All the time he’s sobbing out his tragic story, Pig Iron is interjecting: ‘Mmm… Mmm…Mmm… Sorry my thirty second attention span is up…. Brrrr….’
In the kitchens, MAURICE is spouting the Robot ‘Religion’ to the CHEF. The CHEF hates humans because they do not approve of his culinary skills. MAURICE reminds the CHEF they must always seek Humans’ approval, no matter how badly they are treated.
ROSE sneaks in and tries to throw himself down the waste disposal unit which forms the CHEF’S rear!
MAURICE hauls him out and tells the CHEF that Robots cannot take human life. That is DISAPPROVAL. It’s in his thoughtware manual.
ROSE: I know. I wrote it. I am your programmer.
ROSE tries other ways to kill himself, which the FAULTY ROBOTS prevent to his annoyance because of the Laws of Approval and Disapproval.
In fact, ROSE is a fake, he’s really CHAMILLA, a shape-changing robot. ROSE needed to appear to be dead to get his Mafia creditors off his back. The real ROSE is watching, hidden, close by.
The PARENTS flee the Robotel, leaving their KID behind. They’re in such a hurry, they forgot their luggage. MAURICE roars after them with their cases.
MAURICE crashes into the real ROSE, inadvertently killing him. Something has changed in MAURICE. He realizes he APPROVED killing Rose. It felt… good.
From now on, MAURICE has dark, psychotic tendencies.
The KID tells MAURICE to bring him some food.
MAURICE: Kiss my big end.
The Robotel now belongs to the Robots.
EPISODE TWO
The Alien
A coach load of elderly tourists who still prefer traditional – rather than virtual – vacations has arrived at the Robotel. But they enjoy all the things that go wrong at the Happy Mattress. It’s much more interesting than virtual hotels where everything is too perfect.
FORGE has a number of the old guests up against a wall and is frisking them. JONES has to to remind FORGE that this is a Robotel not a Penitentiary. But the guests find this and MAURICE’S rudeness amusing, much to THE KID’S irritation. He thinks their enjoyment of real life sucks.
Meanwhile, glamorous CHAMILLA, now the receptionist, smiles a welcome as a US Marine contingent arrive. They’re wearing strange goggles and are armed to the teeth.
CHAMILLA: Welcome to the Happy Mattress.
Faced with the prospect of carrying in all their equipment and weaponry, MAURICE tells the Marines: Kiss my big end.
JONES thinks things are really looking up with 50 Marines staying as well as the Old Folk. They are finally fully booked. It’s a Robot’s dream.
But the MARINE OFFICER has grim news: an ALIEN has escaped from a nearby top secret base. It has to be eliminated before it reaches the city.
We catch a glimpse of the hideous ALIEN entering Robotel.
The OFFICER explains that humans react to anything poisonous, alien, in our systems by vomiting it out. ‘Disgust’ is the human organism’s protection against something that invades it.
The human reaction to Alien life forms is the same. That’s why the US Government could never announce official contact with Alien life. They once tried to get the Public used to the idea by financing lots of films about Aliens. But the revulsion we have when we meet the real thing is still too much.
OFFICER: We’re talking serious projectile vomiting here.
Mayhem ensues, the Marines are killed by the ALIEN, but – thanks to the Robots – the human guests are saved.
But the ALIEN is like one limb of a much bigger creature who resides on the Alien’s home planet. The Robots have to teleport there to kill it, using the KID as bait.
They succeed and the elderly guests leave – really enjoying all the excitement – including what they believe was a Virtual Reality show of ALIEN versus MARINES. They didn’t realise this was the real thing, as the Robots pile up the bodies of the MARINES round the corner.
The KID pleads with the pensioners to take him with them, but they make excuses and decline and he’s stuck in Robotel.
EPISODE THREE
Time Travellers
The Robots open historical theme rooms to compete with VR. But an ancient antique four poster bed – which JONES bought cheap – has acted as a time portal with various historical characters coming through it.
A MEDIEVAL KNIGHT appears on the bed, bloody and wounded from battle.
CHAMILLA: Welcome to the Happy Mattress, sir.
The sight of the beautiful CHAMILLA revives the KNIGHT. He leers lecherously at her: I hope so.
She backs away.
KNIGHT:
What shall it profit you, my comely lady
If your love keeps me far away
I swear you want to become a nun
And you better know, I love you so much
I’m afraid the pain will prick me to death
If you don’t… do right by me…
CHAMILLA: You want to activate my transponder with your bio-logic probe? Very well – I’ll open a temporary polarity merge file for the exchange of organic sensory fluids.
The KNIGHT backs off, repelled by her reaction and picks a fight with FORGE instead. PIG IRON checks data and realises Time Travel is involved, somehow activated by the bed.
Other historic characters appear on the bed: A 17th century Plague Victim who was dying on the bed, The CHEF wants to fatten him up. And then a 19th Century Hooker who used the bed for her work. She asks THE KID if this is his first time? The KID is hugely embarrassed but claims – of course it’s not. He’s the veteran of many virtual encounters. They don’t call him ‘Super Stud’ for nothing.
But as the Hooker closes in, he’s reduced to a nervous stuttering mess.
His emotion of embarrassment is so strong, that next moment the portal widens and our characters are sucked into a mysterious TIME ENGINEERS laboratory. The portal closes, trapping them within.
THE TIME ENGINEERS reveal they create energy fields based on emotion which distorts time. Emotion is the only energy form that crosses time. They see themselves as the Lords of Causality. They want to put our Robots on trial for distorting the Time Lines.
Our Robots have to escape. But, to get back to their own time will require generating a powerful emotion to open the portal again. Just as the four poster bed generated similar powerful emotions of love and death from its previous occupants.
PIG IRON figures the only way to do this is to release JONES’ suppressed emotions. Normally JONES drains off his negativity at night so he is always affable and smiling, but now a psycho-side to him is released which works, but results in him becoming a temporary lunatic, attacking the human guests.
Each story is on a science fiction theme such as SYNCHRONICITY, DINOSAURS, FUTURE WAR.
Robotel: Copyright © Pat Mills and the Estate of Kevin O’Neill 2023