Broz 2 Wanted Dead or Alive: sample pages
This has one of the best sequences I've ever seen in comics
Time for some more lost comics! I think Adrian really hits his stride in Broz Vol 2. You’ll see a wonderful sequence of three pages below where I compliment Adrian and tell him it’s one of the best I’ve seen in comics.
If you missed my intro to Broz and how it came about - and ended prematurely, read it here:
Broz: Death to the Empire! Freedom to the Five Kingdoms!
BROZ was planned as a long-running fantasy saga I wrote for France, illustrated by Adrian Smith and created by us both. Written in April 2004, two volumes were published in 2004, 2005 and a third volume was completed in 2006, but never published. Work had just begun on a fourth volume when the series was cancelled.
And if you want to see sample pages from Vol 1, you can see them here:
Broz 1 The Soul Lock: Sample pages
Last week, I introduced Broz, the fantasy saga I wrote for France with artist Adrian Smith. It’s a shame the series was cancelled, and it was never translated into English, so I’m sharing some pages and script from the volumes over the next couple of weeks.
PAGE SEVEN
1. She lands on Broz, bringing him to the ground. (Broz can be a little bit away from the main action here, so the scene just focuses on the two of them)
BROZ: SEPTICA!
(using the city as a curse)
2. Broz is lying on the ground. She is sitting on him. She likes the idea, but feels she must seem suitably embarrassed.
ROZA: AHEM!
3. She introduces herself. He responds like James Bond.
ROZA: ER - HELLO. I'M ROZA GO-QUIETLY.
BROZ: BROZ. NOBODY APPROACHED ME LIKE THIS BEFORE. I LIKE YOUR STYLE, ROZA.
4. Roza recognises him. She's holding her gun the entire time, now she starts to aim it
ROZA: YES. I'VE SEEN YOU ON THE WANTED POSTERS
5. She points gun in Broz's face.
VOICE OF ROZA: THE EMPIRE IS OFFERING 100, 000 IMPERIALS IN GOLD, FOR YOU. ALIVE OR DEAD.
6. Broz coolly removes her gun.
BROZ: LET ME HELP YOU WITH THAT.
ROZA: HEY! GIVE IT BACK! IT'S MINE!
7. Standing up now, he takes the ammunition pouch off her as well.
BROZ: REALLY? HOW DID YOU GET SUCH A WEAPON?
ROZA: NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.
BROZ: SO YOU STOLE IT? THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT.
PAGE EIGHTEEN
1. Exterior of Castle Mrak.
PANEL: THE NORTHERN REALM. WINTER. CASTLE MRAK.
CARDINAL'S VOICE: MY LORD RASPAD! WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU? AND THE IMPERIAL TROOPERS?
2. Raspad and co. enter, very much the worse for wear. Raspad is covered in ash. Zaraza's face has fallen and her neck has transformed into a blooping middle breast. Shalabyzer with cracked specs; half blown up by gunpowder. A couple of storm troopers as well.
Zaraza continues to needle Raspad.
CARDINAL: DID THE ATTACK ON KUKU MENI FAIL ?
3, Just Raspad ranting
RASPAD: THE VOLCANO SUDDENLY EXPLODED! IT WAS TOO MUCH OF A CO-INCIDENCE!
4. Just Zara
VOICE OF RASPAD: SEND FOR YOUR SEER ! I NEED AN EXPLANATION!
5. Zara
VOICE OF RASPAD: AND DO SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR FACE! IT'S SLIPPED AGAIN!
(2): IT'S MAKING ME SICK!
6. Schlyme monster appears behind / through Raspad as he spits green slime. This is the first time we've seen a heavy slime guy; even more lethal than the Gleevas.
RASPAD: I WANT TO KNOW WHY A VOLCANO SHOULD JUST HAPPEN TO ERUPT, RELEASING SEVERAL HUNDRED TONS OF MOLTEN LAVA AND ASH ON MY SOLDIERS AT THE PRECISE MOMENT MY PEACE-KEEPING MISSION AGAINST THE GIANTS WAS COMPLETED!
(2): INYUFF IS INYUFF!
This will become his catch phrase. He speaks peasant when he gets excited!
PAGE NINETEEN RIGHT HAND
1. Zaraza
The dialogue below can be in the dead area of pic two above it
ZARAZA: OH, MY DEAR! YOU'VE TURNED RUSTIC! REVERTING TO YOUR QUAINT, NATIVE FUNGOID TONGUE! YOU'VE LOST YOUR CULTURED TONES. HOW CHARMING .
(2): I FORGOT YOU SPOKE PEASANT WHEN YOU GOT EXCITED!
RASPAD; (this can partly obscure the spider)
YOU ARE GOING TOO FAR, WOMAN. IF YOU CONTINUE IN THIS VEIN, I SHALL LOSE MY TEMPER AND THEN THERE WILL BE NOWHERE FOR YOU TO HIDE.
ZARAZ: (this can be in the dead area to the right)
APART FROM MY FATHER'S PALACE. AND AS HE HAPPENS TO BE THE EMPEROR, I SHOULD BE A LITTLE MORE CAREFUL IF I WERE YOU, MY DARLING.
3. She comes back with the seer who we have met before.
SEER: YOU WANTED TO SEE ME, LORD RASPAD?
4. Just Rasp. The Slime Monster starts to fade back into the shadows.
RASPAD: I NEED ANSWERS, SEER. AND NONE OF YOUR USUAL NONSENSE ABOUT SEEING CRIMSON AND SEEING RED.
5. Mainly the Seer
SEER: I SEE A MONASTERY DEEP IN THE MOUNTAINS OF NO PROGRESS LAND.
6. External view of Monastery as described below. It's Hilandar monastery (which actually exists in Greece). Our fantasy version is described below. Outside, instead of a cross, is a Caduceus - a classic alchemical symbol - Adrian, good to feature that next time around cos it's on the maps.
Note to Jacques/Adrian. Couldn't see five towers symbolizing the 5 Kingdoms, so have altered dialogue. But if I've missed something do say.
PANEL:
BENEATH A GOLDEN DOME
ARE MONKS FROM THE FIVE KINGDOMS…
ELDERS. FLORANS. FUNGOIDS. ELEMENTALS. AND HUMANS.
I HEAR THEIR CHANTING FROM WITHIN…
VOICES FROM WITHIN THE MONASTERY:
IN THE FORESTS AND THE MOUNTAINS OF OUR PROUD LAND
FROM KREESTIANA TO KOGGOSHALL
FROM RAVENSFIELD TO ATTICA
THE ARMIES OF FREEDOM FIGHTERS ARE MARCHING
AND THE GLORY OF THEIR HEROISM IS SPREADING .
LET OUR DAMNED ENEMY HEAR
WE WOULD RATHER DIE THAN GIVE UP OUR SOIL
LET THE FIVE KINGDOMS UNITE AGAINST IMPERIA'S STEEL FOOT
LET THE ROSE PROTECT US ALL!
PAGE THIRTY LEFT HAND
BRILLIANT STORYTELLING ON THIS PAGE, ADRIAN!
1. The rebels move out, passing on the message along the line. Full blooded Florans and Dreevos would have rooty feet which they stick in the ground for nourishment. Now they uproot.
GIANT: KEEP MOVING!
TROUBADOUR: KEEP MOVING!
LUDA: (with his back to us) KEEP MOVING! HIC!
2. A description of typical resistance fighters on the move is as follows….
"There was the almost ceaseless movement of men, women and children, cows, oxen, horses, mules, food supply, cooking utensils, wounded, ammunition. The Rebels
were always waiting subconsciously for that word that went down the line to rouse themselves and plod on.... "
That sets the scene. We see them "plodding along" beneath the forest canopy that covers the mountain.
Have the wounded on sledges. Include some ski forces. A baby - human or elemental, but definitely cute - starts crying. The mother tries to calm it.
BABY: WAAAHHHH!
MOTHER: SSSHHH!
3. Borbo looks up and sees an owl approaching in the distance; barely visible through a break in the tree canopy.
BROZ: BORBO'S OWL! SILENCE!
4. Another view all along the column, as the word is passed on
WARRIOR: SILENCE !
5. Seen from the owl flying over the tree canopies but some distance from their location which is hidden below the branches.
The owl looks evilly downwards,
6. The baby cries again. The Mother looks concerned.
BABY; WAAAAAHH!
MOTHER: SHHH! SHHH!
7. The baby cries , despite the mother's best efforts. She puts the noisy child to her breast. An Elemental of your choice - possibly Elder (Elfin) - looks menacingly at her and indicates with his finger that he will slit the baby's throat if the noise continues. Others in the column look angrily on. (A baby could be killed in this way, with so many lives at stake)
BABY: WAAAAAH!
PAGE THIRTY-ONE RIGHT HAND
NO DIALOGUE NEEDED ON THIS PAGE
1. Close view of the owl flying over the forested slopes of the mountains. We see Borbo's face in each of the owl's eyes. We see the bird's ears swiveling. The owl is clearly acting like a remote controlled camera.
2. The Mother breast feeds her young, looking up fearfully at the unseen "spy in the sky"
3. We focus on a wounded man lying on a sledge, biting on a piece of wood, so he won't groan. His nurse may be looking skywards.
4. An Elder is whispering in the ear of a worried horse, to calm it. While another Elfin character has completed wrapping cloths on the animal's hooves.
5. Focus on Goran and maybe another Giant with icicles hanging from their noses and ears. They are also looking upwards.
6. Lazar looks upwards and indicates his crossbow to Broz. This weapon is also pointed upwards,
7. Broz makes a hand gesture to indicate "no". It would be fatal to kill the owl.
8. The owl flies on, still scanning the darkened forest below, looking and listening for signs of life that will betray the rebels.
PAGE THIRTY-TWO LEFT HAND
THIS WHOLE SEQUENCE IS FANTASTIC - ONE OF THE BEST I'VE EVER SEEN IN COMICS
1. General pic of characters freezing and being silent. Facial hair is turning white. Sweat is turning into ice. They are trying to hold their breath. One of the female rebels is silently praying, her hands together. One of the male rebels has Rosary beads - which could have a caduceus instead of a crucifix on the end. He silently mouths a decade of the Rosary to himself. (Rosary is based on the rose and it could be represented there as well)
NO DIALOGUE
2. Drunken Luda opens his mouth and he hiccups.
LUDA: HIC!
Forest is white. Branches are leaning towards the ground because of the heaviness of the snow covering them. Looks like a white carpet. It seems ideally still and peaceful apart from one little sound coming up through trees. Hic...
The owl hears it!
Don't think it needs a repeat hiccup now. The scene is so clear. I like the idea that one hiccup, not even two, is enough to damn them.
4. Owl flies down towards the source of the sound.
5. Borba's face lit up in each eye of the owl!
BORBA (IN THE LEFT OWL'S EYE): GOTCHA!
BORBA (IN THE RIGHT OWL'S EYE): THE REBELS ARE LOCATED ONE MILE NORTH EAST OF KOGGOSHALL
(2): SKAZAKS - ATTACK FROM THE WEST! STINK HORNS FROM THE EAST! DEATH CAPS FROM THE NORTH! ELDERS FROM THE SOUTH!
6. Borba/Owl sees hiding Incorruptibles below through owl's eyes and starts giving orders to his unseen forces.
Suggest owl is circling over the rebels who are still unseen, but - now they known they've been spotted - they would be firing arrows and bolts up at him, which the Owl/Borba expertly avoids.
So we wouldn't see much more than their missiles, the owl, and the blurred shapes of the rebels below.
NO DIALOGUE NEEDED
Note to Adrian… we can change the names of the forces to suit whoever you would like to attack.
7. View from Rebels below. Lazar and others firing upwards at the owl through the tree canopy.
NO DIALOGUE NEEDED
PAGE THIRTY THREE RIGHT HAND
1. Bombarding of the rebels starts. Explosions everywhere. Suddenly the quiet forest is turning in to a huge battlefield. Trees are falling, children are crying and wounded are moaning. Smoke is everywhere and smell of gunpowder is in the air. Heavy boulders crashing down on them. Rockets. Etc. Incorruptibles army are starting to panic because they are heavily attacked and it look like that this is the end!
Broz is in control and starts giving orders. He points to Roza in the cage. Someone should release her.
BROZ: MAKE BARRIERS WITH THE FALLEN TREES! DREEVOS INFILTRATE THE FOREST! FUNGOIDS, PREPARE TO RELEASE SPORE BOMBS!
(2): AND SOMEONE GET HER OUT !
2. Fungoids have grenades ready as some of Borba's forces approach - Elders (Elfins) or guys in big armour.
3. Borba's forces draw closer towards us
4. The Fungoids throw their spore bombs.
5. They contain methane gas, and have the blast power of gunpowder grenades, killing Borba's soldiers.
BORBA SOLDIER: AAAAHHH!
6. A Borba soldier lies dead. We see a crumpled Reward Poster was slipped inside his jacket and is now falling out.
7. We close in on the Reward Poster which will be seen more clearly on the next page.
THIS PAGE LIGHT ON WORDS IN PREPARATION FOR HEAVY WORD COUNT ON THE NEXT PAGE
This looks and reads beautifully! Not thought of a crowd funded English version? I’d be in!